Finally asleep
Art - Hu Jundi, Daydream by the Lotus, 2017
Finally asleep,
my mind astack
with fractious actions yet to take.
Fitfully, I dream
I’m on a beach
that brings a peacefulness to me.
Then the sunshine shies
behind a brooding bank of fright
that roils my mind.
Doubt begins
to whip the wind
in sandy spinning twisting dervishes.
Waterspouts
and whirlwinds blend
into a single roaring bitter tempest.
Sentiently
menacing me,
feeding on my rife anxieties.
A vast depression
that I crafted
senses this is when I stand my last.
Finally,
resignedly,
I taste the trailing tears of my despair.
Then
I feel a loving touch;
not much, but just the one to reach me then.
Without regard
to whether it was
in my head or heart, it let me start.
I stood
and pushed the swirl away
to make a little space for me to breathe.
Now I am the eye,
and glimpse the sky,
and I’m reminded to believe.
So I shove
the bluster farther out
and break it down to smaller squalls.
Stilling
near and distant winds
to chase the grey away and calm the fray.
Till the fury
ceases and I see
the wide horizons of the day.
Suddenly,
the way it is in dreams,
I am no longer on the beach.
I’m drifting
out amid the brilliant
universal creativity.
Aside of time,
I’m also soaked
in every moment that can ever be.
Fine white lines
imbued with blueish
energy reach outward from my being.
Projecting
quadrimensionally,
seeking all my probabilities.
Curling back
within the tesseract
to bring my infinite potential.
Folding and unfolding
in an origami
lotus of the moments.
Spiralling
and arching back
upon themselves to intersect in me.
Then I’m back
upon the beach,
feeling easy in the evening breeze.
I feel a hand in mine,
and turn to find you
standing there beside me, smiling.
That’s when I awake
to find anxieties
I brought to bed have faded.
The energy still lingers
from the dream,
and so I reach to touch your hair.
And stroke
the cold and vacant pillow,
knowing in the waking you’re not here.
You will be though;
I saw it in the vision
when I stilled the spinning winds.
The dream
you walked the beach of possibility with me,
holding hands.
Lee DeNoya - Taos 2021